When You Only Have One More Summer

When you only have one more summer with your child how do you prepare yourself. We're struggling. Hoping we've equipped mine with all she needs to know & more.

We have three daughters. We got married straight out of college and had our first daughter at the wee age of 23 which looking back was so young! We had no idea what we was doing when they handed her to us. We're an only child, had never held an infant, changed a diaper, or fed a baby….and they were sending this human being home with us to do all of it??!! The first year was rough to say the least but we figured it out and we all survived somehow. Fast forward 17 years and now we can't believe we only have one more summer with her (give us a minute as we tear up).

• We can't be alone in this feeling……

For years with all 3 girls we would say “it will get a bit easier in a few years”. Then we'd say “we can't wait until they start school”, then all of a sudden they are filling out college applications and you can't imagine your house without them.

Without the questions regarding girl drama, heartbreak over a boy, and realizing that most of your interaction will be over the phone. It makes us tear up right now and we still have one more year with her.

When you only have one more summer

• Have we taught her to make responsible decisions – From driving to when she falls in love with “the one”, we wonder have we done enough.
  • Have we had enough of “those talks” instilling the idea of being responsible.
  • Of not letting your emotions take control of the situation and thinking long term + the consequences of every action you take. Will she give in to teen peer pressurelisten to her mind as well as her heart?
• Does she know she can call us for anything no matter what she's done we think so but what if it's a bad one and she knows she never should have gotten herself in that situation, does she know it won't matter at that moment and that we'll be there?
  • We've all been there with that “we told you so moment” when you're young and in a sticky situation…but that's when you need your mom the most.
  • Will she lean on us like when she did when she was little?

We ask myself….

• Will she keep in touch when she's away – There's nothing worse than thinking that when your child leaves home and heads to college or to live on their own that you will have to be the one to keep in contact. That maybe they won't call on their own because they miss you.
• Ok maybe this is a mom thing but we want to be at least kinda' missed when we lose 1 out of 3 girls in our house.
  • Along the same lines we think of our other children and that they will experience a loss too.
  • Will she want to keep in touch with her sisters too on a regular basis and continue that sisterly bond that we always hoped they'd have.
  • Is she going to want to continue traveling with us during breaks, if not we will feel like something is missing.

We worry about…..

• Will we still be needed – Ok so we are not a super needy person, but when it comes to our kids that goes out the window. Yes we want her to be independent and not need the help of others, to figure it out on her own.
  • It's a part of growing up, we get it but…….will she still come to us for advice. About boys, jobs, life decisions. We admit it, we guess we do need to be needed by her. We don't think that's a bad thing. We question if we've been the best mom we could be.
• Is she going to stay close to home – we get it, we was there too and went far away for college because we wanted the distance…and almost stayed there long term doing a job that we loved. But, we did move back closer to our parents.
  • It took many years but once we had children of our own we did want them to have a relationship with their grandparents. Will she want that too? That's our worry, and hope that she will because we cannot imagine not being around our children's children on a regular basis.

It was so easy in the beginning right…..though we thought it was “so hard!”. We laugh at the thought of that now.

Over the years there are SO many other things that come into play. Sometimes we yearn for the snuggly one on one days. We cannot believe we are saying this but we SO look forward to having that again when grandkids come!!

• NO not for a while as our youngest is 10 and oldest here is 18 but someday we are sure and OH MY will they be spoiled rotten.

Yes our husband thinks we are a bit crazy but when thinking of our oldest moving out and what we will miss we also think of rooms that will eventually be set up for the incoming little ones…the next generation in the house we are in now. And what will be in it……those 4 things above of course…..and lots of #4 for sure.

Are you having these same thoughts?? Have you had a child already move out, and if so how did you handle it?